no no noway noway
I've neglected blogging here for seven months and I'm not even sure why. Every time I tried to sit down to write, the posts felt incomplete or shallow.
But my lack of blogging has also meant that I've not written anything about the amazing girl that has sprung forth from infant-hood. I really regret not seizing verbal snapshots and snippets of Lily's second year and putting them here in this blog for as much me to remember, as others to read.
Lily has certainly not lost her independent streak. No, far from waning, it's redoubled as she approaches two. The subject line is, or at least was until very recently, her very, very favorite thing to say.
NO NO NOWAY NOWAY
But she's oh so daring on her own. Fearless in the face of most things (except for the time I accidentally scared her and she went running from the room) and smart as a whip. She recognized (uppercase, of course), and could say, every letter in the alphabet by 19 months and numbers one through ten followed shortly thereafter. Lately she's been doing a little sing-song-y counting from one to fifteen.
Earlier in 2011 I was, as is typical of me, a little worried about her lack of interest in books. It was such a contrast from Nate at the same age. But that has completely changed and she is a voracious consumer of books. Every time we hang out in the front room she brings me book after book to read.
But in some ways, the past 10 months have not been a lot different than the first 12. She still goes to bed soon after I arrive home from work and as a result, I still get to see and interact with her, at most, an hour a day during the work week. And during that time I'm also trying to eat dinner, interact with Nate and Heather. There is no point in trying to keep her awake later, because she is clearly done for the day and that would be selfish of me. When she doesn't nap, she's in bed 30 minutes after I arrive home. And with work being the way it has been, there have been times when I have not seen her for more than 48 hours, despite living in the same house.
This is the real reason for my regret in not blogging: I know I have forgotten hosts of small special moments of the time I do have with her. My brain just will not retain them (and I do try to store, I really do). And while my New Years Resolution to blog more has not gotten off to a good start, I hope this is the first step to meeting it and thereby helping my own brain remember the times I do have with her.
Wherein I’m no longer wearing a winter hat but am waving a flag
The storms on Sunday were quite intense. We were driving down to my parents in Elgin to have a Memorial Day party and were caught in some of the most intense rain I've been in in many years. Streets were flooded, ditches were running over the tops of roads, dogs and cats were living together, mass hysteria. Or maybe it was just a lot of rain, lightning, and thunder.
Anyway, the quick jump to 90 deg yesterday was nice. A bit hot when mowing the lawn but I'll take it over having to wear winter clothes at the end of May.
We all went to the Crystal Lake Memorial Day parade yesterday. That was a lot of fun. Pretty short but, for Nate and Lily, just the right length. We parked in the train station parking lot and literally walked 10 feet forward to put our chairs in the shade right along the parade route. We brought water and snacks but still, I walked down the street to get popcorn from Pop's Corn Crib (a CL staple). I bought flags for the kids to wave [which lasted for all of 2 minutes 
]. Three marching bands, lots and lots of Cub and Boy Scouts, veterans, and police and fire. Lily was not sure what to make of it all and just stared and stared; Nate was pretty good but was a little intimidated by the loudness of the marching band so hung back a bit.
Looks like the warm weather should stick with us for this week. Hopefully that will translate into productive play (and some yard work) in the evenings.
What’s that smell?
During prep for our family gathering for Mothers Day I kept smelling something that reminded me of burning plastic. Given that we can still burn where we live, I thought maybe a neighbor threw something into their burn pile that they shouldn't have.
But then later I noticed that our kitchen computer wasn't running. And when I tried to start it, it wouldn't boot.
So I pulled it out and found this on the video card:
Detail:
Yeah, that's not good. Interestingly enough (to me at least) in all the years of building my own machines and working with old hardware, this is the first time I've ever had a capacitor go bad (which is what caused this to burn out). I've been working with computer hardware for /years/ and never had this happen before today. Kind of amazing.
First Prints
My one photographic goal this year is to print. I enjoy sharing photos online, and I often browse our library with Picasa or Lightroom at home, but there's something to be said for going through the effort to print and frame a photo.
Part of my problem with taking that last step is the permanence of it. Or rather, the supposed permanence of it. A framed print is not inexpensive, especially a large one, even if you use Hobby Lobby's 50% sales. And what has always stymied me has been the thought of spending all that money and then, after a few years, realizing I don't like the photo as much as I had. Or that the photo is "dated" in some way.
But a frame (and glass) is not a single-use tool. A frame can be re-used over and over. Cutting a new mat is a trivial cost. We'll always have images that will match the frame style. Overcoming the hesitation to do this was the reason behind deciding 2011 will be the year of the print.
To that end, we've printed and had framed our first two large photos this year:
http://cetan.org/index.php?showimage=1231
and
http://cetan.org/index.php?showimage=1218
Hobby Lobby called last night and said they're ready for pickup. I'm very excited. No idea where we're going to hang them yet but we certainly have the wall-space. So, if you visit us this year, look for those spaces to fill.
I survived the February 2011 Blizzard & Thundersnow
A bit of a tongue-in-cheek title here. It's been a crazy 24H+ but we fared quite well.
It took a long time to get home last night (Tuesday) because the trains were all messed up. I left work a little early to make sure I got a seat on my regular train thinking it would be extra crowded. But as it turns out, most everyone in the city left hours before. I could have, but stayed 'till near the bitter end (as they say). So, the upshot of all of this is that, from the time I left work until the time I arrived home I was commuting for 3 hours. Not so much fun.
Arriving at my train station in Crystal Lake I found a completely wind-swept and snow-less car. Now, the drift /next/ to my car, on the other hand, was up to the hood. But details, details.
Because of the intense wind, the roads were not really a problem. Slow, to be sure, but the major routes were passable. However, when I turned into my neighborhood I began to worry I'd have to abandon my car 200 yards from my house. The plows were clearly busy elsewhere and I wasn't expect the roads to be clear, but the snow had accumulated far more than I had anticipated. But I made it home without too much trouble. After a quick (and delicious) dinner of a hearty potato soup, I was off to "clear" the driveway. And by "clear" I mean "wait, how could there be 2" of snow already? I just shoveled that!" I walked around the house a bit and cleared off the snow from the back door, which made me feel like I had run a half-marathon. The snow drifts were already very deep.
Around 10pm Heather spotted lightening and we both heard the rumble of thunder. An amazing sound, to be sure. The night was uneventful. No branches fell off the trees and crashed through the house, etc.
This morning I got up around 5:30 to confirm that indeed I would be working from home today. By 6:30 I was out with the snow blower trying to figure out how I could possibly clear snow away from areas that were deeper than the blower was tall. It took 2 hours to complete the driveway. Around 8 the plow came by and gave us a road again. I was amazed to see the truck push that much snow.
Around noon Nate and I headed out to play. Wading through waist-deep drifts is hard, hard, work. Nate kept getting lost in the snow but was full of wonderful exuberance and energy. I pulled him around on the sled for a bit but we both were tired after 45 minutes. I stayed out to clear the driveway again and to tackle the front sidewalk which I had previously left. The drift there was the highest yet and we now have a small canyon to walk through to get to our front door.
Tomorrow morning it's supposed to be -15 deg F when I get on the train. Honestly, I'd rather have more snow than cold like that. I'm sure I'm in the minority with that opinion.
Edit: snow fall totals for the region:
http://blog.chicagoweathercenter.com/2011/02/map-of-the-citys-historic-third-heaviest-snowfall-on-record.html
Lily’s First Snow
It snowed this morning and there was enough sticking to go out and have a little fun. Nate got a couple rides on the sled and Lily either was in our arms or plopped on the lawn. She was interested and pretty happy with the whole affair.
Interestingly enough, our first snow of the year Nate was born was also Dec 1st, but then it was like 12" in 1 day. We didn't take Nate outside to experience it until Dec 7th:
http://helloheather.livejournal.com/404451.html
I makes me immensely happy to have photos of both kids in the same snowsuit.
Seven months in 30 minute increments
It wasn't planned but I'm a weekend father. I've watched my daughter grow up in 30 minute increments five days a week.
Because she wakes up so early she is, essentially, done for the day by 6:30pm. Unfortunately, I don't arrive home from work until 6:00pm. And in that time I try and change, eat dinner, say more than "hello" to 
helloheather and try and reconnect with Nate.
It's really hard to try and fit in quality Lily time as well. Most mornings I have some time, as helloheather often brings her into our room to wake me up. So, when you add it all up, I see her for about 30 minutes a day during the week. For the past two months or so I just give up dinner in favor of interacting with her and playing with Nate whenever possible. If Lily's had a rough day and not napped well, she'll be asleep before I get home so I don't see her for 24 hours.
This is a real struggle, because Lily is growing up so fast. She's been crawling for a while and is now pulling herself up to standing on nearly everything and everyone she can. She's already moving (literally) into the next big stage of her babyhood. With Nate, I had so much more time with him...I felt like I knew so much more about him by now. With Lily, I feel like a frequent visitor.
Part of my struggle too, is discovering the subtle (and not so subtle) ways she is different than Nate. I'm not so much expecting her to be like Nate was at this age; it's more that I'm surprised at the differences and feel like I should have a better understanding of who she is. This is silly, of course, because who she is is a baby constantly learning, adapting, and changing.
So, despite the cliché: the weekends matter. They matter a lot.
warmth
It's not always easy, commuting for more than two and a half hours a day. That's a lot of time spent away from home; away from family; away from what I want to be doing.
So, while Nate and I were outside in the twilight of the evening, enjoying the campfire we put together in the backyard, I was able to reflect a bit on what living where we do provides for us. I'm happy at and in my home; warts, responsibilities, commutes, campfires, and all.
Expansion
The major north/south road to our neighborhood is loaded with construction this summer (and next) but this is a good thing.
Not only are they putting in turn lanes and lights at much needed locations, they’re also building a bike path from, essentially, the high school to Veterans Acres Park. Which means we’ll (eventually) be able to ride our bikes on neighborhood roads almost the entire way to the park with only a short section of a “can-be-busy” road to ride on.
But it’s a bit of a ways off...not until next summer will the bike path be ready, baring any more delays from weather or labor disputes.
The one down side to all this construction was the need to remove a lot of trees along Walkup. Some of the trunks were easily 5 feet in diameter and the loss has removed a lot of shade and beauty from the roadway. So, that’s a bummer. Maybe they’ll plant some new trees along the bike path (one can hope).
Overall progress can be tracked on the construction project’s website:
http://www.walkuproad.info/
wherein life stresses me out…
It's been a complex and difficult couple of weeks.
We've had a family member pass away suddenly and unexpectedly. We've had other family members hospitalized and/or have medical procedures. We've had family members lose their jobs. We've had medical problems ourselves, some of which are still unresolved.
We have stress thinking about the pending birth of our second child (a child who still doesn't have a name) and the changes that will bring.
Oh, and our cat is sick. She has to be put on an even more special food than what she's already been taking and will start getting cortisone shots which, if the diagnosis is wrong, could actually make things worse.
I'm trying to think positively though. I'm still employed and financially things are improving for the company. Also the company went 100% business casual which is a nice change. The weather has been improving and I've been able to get out during lunch. Also bernhard.us et al will be migrated to new servers in a couple weeks which should make things much faster and more stable.
syrup, sugar, and sunshine
On Saturday, Nate and I headed out to the Coral Woods Conservation Area for the Festival of the Sugar Maples. This is a yearly program run for two weeks by the McHenry County Conservation District.
It's a half-mile hike through the snow in Coral Woods with four stops detailing some of the history of maple sugar and maple syrup: from Native Americans sugar production in a hollowed-out log to modern sap collection. At the end, where they have an evaporator set up, you can sample the syrup they do make from the sap being collected. As the program only runs for two weeks there's only enough syrup to give out the tastes at the end, so none to take home.
This years warmer temps and sun made for a great time. Nate was very interested and participated at all the stops. He also received a number of complements from people in our group with how articulate and involved he was. By the time we were done with our tour, the number of people at the park had probably quadrupled. So we had clearly arrived at just the right time.
During the drive home, I failed to keep Nate awake (and who could blame him after our morning), which re-set his clock and left helloheather and I with a lot less time to work on house stuff. So...
Off Nate and I went again; this time to the Crystal Lake Nature Center. It's a small but fun building that is part of the Veteran's Acres park. We read books, looked at some of the animals they have, and then hiked in the slush and snow around the pond.
It was a good Saturday. The kind of hints-of-spring type day (we heard sandhill cranes flying north while at Coral Woods) that really can reinvigorate.
Am I /that/ neighbor?
Yesterday was a really rough day at work. Lots of things failed, lots of miscommunication, and lots of pressure to get things on the right track again. The entire day, essential, was a waste. I was exhausted when I arrived home last night.
And so I did not clear our driveway of snow yesterday evening. I went to bed early, in fact. I was done with yesterday.
But, to avoid ice and unsafe conditions, I wanted to clear the driveway. I woke up at 5 with the intention of shoveling the whole thing. It became apparent quickly that there was more snow than I realized and so I shattered the morning quiet with my snow blower. 15 minutes later I was done and inside the house.
I wonder, though, if any of my neighbors cursed me this morning for doing this. "The snow's all going to melt in a day or so anyway!" "Why didn't he do this last night?" etc., etc.
I just like using my snow blower, darn it.
on fort building
helloheather went on a retreat to Oregon, IL this past weekend, being gone from Friday evening until late Saturday evening (having driven 2 hours in the fog at a snails pace).
This was the first time Nate and I were home alone.
We did not thwart the bumbling efforts of two would-be criminal types. John Hughes would not have been impressed.
Still, we had fun. I built a fort in our front room on Friday night and Nate and I had a camp-out. He did ask if we were going to have a camp-fire but alas, prudence dictated no open flame in the foyer.
I built our fort out of the kitchen chairs, a blanket, a couple strong clips, and our Therm-a-rest (tm) sleeping pads. It was fun. I have very fond memories of my dad building me a fort like this when I was a kid and it was nice to be able to do this for Nate.
Most of the time we just hung out. We played a lot of Cars (tm) which he's /really/ into right now. This was, in part, because I gave him a new car ("Sheriff") as a gift for the weekend. We also visited with another dad, who's wife was on the weekend retreat, and had lunch with him at the Burger King (which has a play area).
We had so much fun with the fort that we slept there again Saturday night, even though helloheather had returned home.
catch-up post #n
I was off work from December 23rd through January 4th and it was a really great. helloheather and Nate and I relaxed and spent a lot of quality time together.
Christmas was busy, as usual, with events every day from the 24th through the 27th. But, despite the big snowfall, and the driving around, it was really all very good. Nate was a trouper and really seemed to enjoy visiting the family. Lots of photos need to be posted.
We visited the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum after Christmas, mostly to see the Butterfly Haven they have there. I really thought Nate would enjoy it, but he was not impressed. There were other exhibits he liked though, and overall the visit was a good one. Also, with so many people being off work the week between Christmas and New Years, we had no problems driving into and out of Chicago.
Nate and I also spent a lot of time outside in the snow over break, which was really great. I'm very glad we've had all the snow and that it's been cold enough to keep it from melting. Though, I did hear on the news last night that, if it warms up on Wednesday or Thursday, it'll be the first time since Christmas that we've been at or above 32 deg F. So, it's been a little chilly!
Being back at work for a full week (last week) was tough. It's really easy to get into a habit of being lazy and family-oriented around the house and very difficult to get back into work-mode mentality. However, I've managed to chase the mid-day blues away a bit by bringing a DSLR to work and walking around in the cold and snow. Boots and thermals have been a must.
So 2010 is here and the end of March is rapidly approaching. I'm still not really ready for all of this but it's certainly not waiting for me to catch up.
losing traditions before they are formed
One of the things about fatherhood that I really enjoy (and look forward to) is creating traditions. Not huge "we take a family trip" or "everyone comes over for Christmas" type traditions, but little ones.
Though it wasn't a tradition for Heather growing up in Crystal Lake, I always sorta though going to a local restaurant called "Little John's" could be mine and Nate's. An "out with dad on a Saturday" type tradition. It has been open for 29 years serving gyros, italian beef, hot dogs, burgers, etc. While not the easiest place to get in and out of, it was always worth visiting.
Sadly, I found out only this evening that the business is closing its doors at the end of the day tomorrow.
http://www.nwherald.com/articles/2009/09/18/r_kn1xtxtcsucwsn5efe_4wg/index.xml
Thankfully, the owner is not being forced out and is not closing because of the economy. He's closing on his terms and frankly, after 29 years, any small business owner deserves his or her retirement.
But in thinking about its closure, I realized something: a number of the local businesses that I enjoy frequenting are owned by people who will probably be retiring in the next few years. There are so few new local businesses opening (or finding it possible to stay open) that it's very difficult to get any sort of tradition going in the first place. Little John's, for example, is going to be knocked down and a Walgreen's put in its place.
**sigh**
I'm certainly going to miss Little John's, but I'll miss its potential even more.