cetan's weblog a man, no plan, a blog, golbanalponnama.

a quiet moment

Saturday evening, after Aaron, Serena, and Charlotte had left and after the sun had set, Nathan and I were in the living room playing. As he usually does, he was crawling all over the place, paying particular attention to his little toy piano. Watching him while lying on my stomach on the floor, I was experiencing quite a bit of melancholy.

A rather heartfelt and simple song by Kate Walsh came up on the playlist on the stereo and Nathan paused in his play. He sat calm and quiet for a bit, looking around and looking at me. He sometimes does this when we're listening to music, especially with acoustic songs...just sits and listens. It was during this song that, for whatever reason, I was feeling my lowest.

As if to counter-point my feelings, Nathan did an extraordinary thing. He looked right at me and clapped his hands. Just like that, just at that moment...

I was overwhelmed with emotions. I didn't move a muscle, to see if perhaps I had been mistaken or if I had somehow misinterpreted what he had done...and so he did it again. And again. He just looked at me and clapped in that i-just-learned-how-to-clap sort of way.

As feelings of love, wonderment, and excitement washed over me, I still didn't move. I didn't call for helloheather (who was in the next room) nor did I pick him up and hug him. I didn't want to break the spell, I didn't want the moment to end.

It's truly bizarre how something so small can have such a profound impact on my psyche. As Nathan approaches his tenth month I can only hope to have more of these amazing moments.